I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I doubt my abilities as a mom in this new chapter of my life. I used to pride myself on my well-kept home, dinner at 5:30, laundry completed and kids cared for and entertained all day. Now? I guess I could use some encouragement! And a handful of grace! If you visit and my house frightens you, please stay! Maybe even comment about how lovely it is to see child artwork in the dust and how it adds some country charm to my home! :) Perhaps if you come over for dinner and are served soup out of a can. . .please say, "Yum! Wow, this is the best I've ever had! Can I have the recipe?" :) Be careful though, these comments might lead to a potential peck on the cheek from me!
I know that through this, God will use me, my husband and my children. Even if it's for no greater purpose than for us to rely more on each other and him. However, I guess I would ask for prayers that God would not only continue to give me strength and more improved health but would also help me to live with more grace in this time. Lisa gave me this verse and I have been holding it in my heart, especially now, I'm tired and emotionally spent. Exodus 14:14 "God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!" It is a bit comical because I do just need to shut up and trust God to fight this for me. I've done all I can on my end and now. . .well now the rest is up to him. Lack of control scares the poo out of me. I can't control any more though. The rest is up to him.
So, I'm off to take a nap before my children arrive.
4 comments:
I'm sorry you're having a hard time breathing today, but I'm happy that your kids will be home today!
I have never ever (no exaggeration) had a well-kept home, dinner at 5:30, laundry completed and kids cared for and entertained all day. I rarely had even the first 3 things before I had kids. It's taken almost 20 years to accept that this is just part of who I am, messy and incomplete.
I hope you are soon able to realize how gloriously marvelous you are no matter how few things you check off your to-do list each day, even if your list has only 2 things on it!
--Renae (not J. Clayton!)
I'm glad you're doing well enough to have your kiddos come home. :) I know you're nervous, but I'm sure you'll do fine and I know you have plenty of people who love you and are willing to step in and help if you find you need a little help while you get used to the routine again.
I also have to say that like your friend Renae, my house will never find its way onto the cover of Good Housekeeping and we don't even have kids. Just do the best you can and try not to worry much about the to-do lists. Just love on those kiddos and take care of yourself. :)
Howdy friend. While our struggles aren't the same, I can definitely relate. What I've learned with those "should do's" of cleaning and cooking is to remind myself my kis aren't going to remember the house or meals nearly as much as they'll remembet the love. And my secret to dealing with the scary days? "Big girls" love being mama's helper, lol. God, your kids, and your husband love you just the way you are, limitations, bad days, and all :)
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